Lavender Bones
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: "She could imagine him shrugging off her absence from his life without a second thought - after all she was a grown demon able to take care of herself." Set during Season 3 Ep. 23 "Quintessential Deckerstar"
1. Chapter 1

First 'Lucifer' fanfic - I have just binge watched the show and love the Maze/Lucifer dynamic. It's clear that there is a lot of emotion and history there…

One shot for now but considering expanding it, please let me know what you think - reviews are much appreciated! (Thank you in advance!)

Inspired by Stand Atlantic's song Lavender Bones.

Disclaimer - I own zilch.

**Lavender Bones**

A bead of cold water drew a neat line down the side of her neck, the ice cube between her fingers clashing against the warmth of her skin. The numbing effect was working perfectly on her bruised cheek but the same could not be said for the other scrapes that littered the rest of her body. Maze had stood in front of the mirror and studied every injury - each mark a sign of her vulnerability - as if she was just a mere mortal. The thought had made her feel nauseous and unsteady on her feet. She leant back against the sofa in Lucifer's living room with little idea about how or why she found her way there. After seeing Linda she had wandered the streets aimlessly attracting looks from strangers because of her bloodied and disheveled state. There was no place that felt like home in LA since she had chosen to actively alienate everyone in her life. Maze had felt a wave of relief to find an empty apartment a part of her not wanting to see Lucifer at all. Their relationship had grown into a large tentacled creature that lived in her head whenever she saw him.

He had not reached out to her since their last fight. There was no demand that she return to Lux or instruction to simply give him a call back. There was no note to let her know that she had misunderstood him and his clumsy attempt at grappling with all too human feelings. She could imagine him shrugging off her absence from his life without a second thought - after all she was a grown demon able to take care of herself. A small, needy voice had been urging her to have expectations that the Devil would one day put her at the centre of his life had been nothing but disappointed. "Maze Day" - they would have called it. On that day he'd remember her favourite ice-cream flavour, ask her about the emotions she had been struggling with and give her his jacket on the walk home if it was cold. Scratch that just one text checking in on her would have been enough - four letters if he used text speak '_R U OK?_'. For a man who constantly surrounded himself with women how little he understood them had only registered now. Or perhaps he did not see her as a woman but who she had been in hell.

She had always been his to take and put aside whenever he saw it fitting but after eons the final straw had finally been reached. When she had gone to him in her moment of weakness his attention had still been on his own selfish desires, on Chloe. From the moment Lucifer had met the detective Maze had lost him in a way she had never considered to be possible. She saw love reflected in his eyes which looked drastically different than the way he had ever looked at her. Maze had stood aside and watched him soften from the slightly slump in his shoulders to the obsessive debates on whether the two of them had been destined to be together because of his father. All of that time they had known each other, they had been close but it hadn't compared to this almost stranger that had been placed in his way on purpose. It was the green eyed monster she had recreated for many hell-loops before but this time it was sitting on her shoulder. Maze didn't know whether she wanted Lucifer to love her, be her best friend or simply to take her home.

The elevator doors gave a satisfying ding as they opened onto the penthouse - these days it could have been anyone walking up to grab some of the top shelf booze Lucifer hide from the general public. Their social circle had expanded quite a bit in recent years. Never before had she considered interacting with a child. Maze didn't look up sliding down hoping to disappear before she was confronted by which ever friendly chatty Cathy had walked through the doors. "Ah Maze, you've returned." Lucifer's voice filled her ears freezing her to the spot. "Ready to apologize-" He paused stopping himself from making a cruel remark when confronted with Maze's battered state. With what seemed like one swift movement he was perched on the seat beside her. "What happened to you?" There was concern that she had not expected as he took the ice out of her hand to examine the black eye she had caught from one of Peirce's people. "I didn't know where else to go." She cleared her throat pulling away from his touch. "I'll leave." Her legs had turned to jelly as she tried to pull herself up falling back again in a slump.

"Don't be silly. Sit." Lucifer stood up his height towering over her as he straightened his waist coat and jacket as if attending a formal meeting. It was a force of habit amongst many others that she could list if asked to. She studied his human form in detail from the stubble creeping up his cheek bones, the ring he always wore and the perfectly chosen shoes as if it had been a lifetime since she had seen him. The sudden clam in voice indicated that he had forgiven her or at least chosen to move past the argument that had sparked the rift between them. It was a routine by this point. They had gotten impossibly good at hurting each other - they knew every button to push, every scar to reopen. In the end it didn't matter because whether Lucifer saw it or not - they were bound together. He returned to her with two tumblers full of scotch a one with ice and Maze couldn't help but recall how much she had longed for him to pour her a drink not that long ago.

There was a pause while they watched each other like predator and prey before one made a move. Neither could figure out which was which. Maze had proven herself more than capable of Lucifer's undoing and all it took was a few words for him to tear her down from whatever comfort she had about being herself. The twisted nature of their relationship had not mattered until they had come to LA and been amongst the land of self help and self actualisation. She had watched the way people cared for each other quickly comparing it to what had been the most significant personal relationship she had. Lucifer had been more than just a boss. Out here she was alone (bar him) away from everything she knew, learning about the the very things she had used to torment people in Hell. Human life was crashing in. Lucifer lifted an ice cube from the glass pressing it against the bruise on her jaw. It was a white flag, an indication that the tiff they were having didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. An invisible weight pulling her down forcing her to remain in his presence.

"I'm sorry." The words were a mere whisper but they were sitting close enough for Lucifer to hear. He didn't say anything not looking up from the deceptive flecks of dried blood across her skin - the admission not phasing him. Or at least he had no intention of letting her see that it mattered that she had used her words to apologize for what he was sure was the first time. It was unlike him - the normal response would have been to mock her or make fun of her sincerity. The lack of response encouraged Maze to keep talking, the words coming out in a hushed tone that gave a nod to fear or embarrassment. "Since we've been here, since you met Chloe… I've felt like I've lost you. We don't talk anymore, you never tell me anything. I was hurt...I lashed out." It was at this point that Lucifer made eye contact with her. He could make her wilt with just a look and he knew it.

"Mazikeen. You could never lose me." The way Lucifer said her full name sent a shiver down her spine. He cupped her face in his hands forcing her to continue studying him and the depth of feelings in his eyes. It was funny how strange the physical intimacy felt when they'd had sex thousands of times. They had never placed any value but fun in it, it was just a game. Here he was close enough she could see his breath rise and every freckle. She wanted to turn away from him just incase he saw something in in the way she looked at him that they would have to confront. Maze was loyal, dedicated, willing to follow his orders… in love with him. _Why would he love you? _A question that had plagued her since she had learnt about all of the ways humans would get tangled with up each other. They were too similar - she reflected all of the dark parts of him so he kept her at an emotional arm's length. (Or that was what Linda would have said if she were to confide in her feelings for Lucifer.) Maze had felt an incredible connection to Amenadiel - the sex had been fantastic but her feelings for his brother were all too different. She needed him.

"Yeah right." She snorted pulling away - self preservation was a natural response to a threat. Lucifer's hands remained on her body sliding down to her shoulders pulling her closer to him. He pressed a kiss against her forehead, a tender touch that was all too foreign between them. "You're never going to lose me, Mazikeen."


	2. Chapter 2

So this may have gotten away from me…. Review and let me know what you think!

**Lavender Bones **

Mazikeen was a woman of action. It was something she prided herself for - there was no need for wishy-washy explanations or long declarations of love in rainfall screamed over the sounds of a leaving train. At least there hadn't been until they had come to earth and understood the full range of bizarre feelings that humans endured in their short lives. It was almost unbearable. She had no idea how they could stand it when she had barely survived the past few months of the depressive lows and unimaginable highs. No wonder they were so predisposed to extreme actions that lead them on a path towards Hell. The lack of control had driven her to this strange place seeking comfort in memories of home which were suddenly tainted by romantic, rose coloured glasses. The first time she had met Lucifer, the way their bond had grown over the years and the fact he had chosen her to accompany him on his holiday to LA.

It was the scene in a rom-com movies where the bubbly female lead realised she had been in love with the man she had known all along. He had been there right under her nose but she had been too distracted to pay him the right amount of attention. However, in their case instead of sugary pop playing over the top it was a soundtrack of Slipknot songs and the images were far darker than the time they took a trip on a a tandem bike or ate ice cream in a park. The first time they had met Lucifer had been admiring her handy work in torturing a poor sod that had been drowning in guilt for being a serial adulterer. They had looked at each other with kinship, the sparks had flown and the rest was history. From that moment their torrid affair had started with a bang...if you will. Their physical attraction to each other had been undeniable and even now it was clear they found each other easy on the eyes but there was something that was missing. An emotional crutch since he had grown indifferent towards the idea of just sleeping together for fun.

She was almost certain he had not been celibate in the time they had become estranged - a nightclub full of young wanna-be-actresses it was unlikely that he had suddenly learnt how to keep his hands to himself. Jealousy settled in the pit of her stomach like a familiar friend that had been gone for a long time. The fact he continued to take strangers to his bed puzzled Maze more about the distance between them; it had intensified once she had moved out (and in with Chloe). Perhaps Lucifer had realised he couldn't be seen as a viable option as a significant other if he was seen to be "dating" her room mate. At first Maze had been more than happy to get her space from her former boss and lover. They had been in the mortal realm long enough and she needed to prove she was no longer dependent on him. It had worked. She had felt like an entirely different person for a while at least. Protecting Lucifer at all costs had given her a purpose while mortal life seemed strangely meaningless.

A job was just a job. Home were temporary shelters to store all of the crap that humans seemed to accumulate throughout their lives. Maze had studied them trying to understand what kept them going through all of the mundane days that passed them by. Chloe's focus was her kid - at the end of the day it was relationships that seemed to really matter. It was unlikely she would ever have children, so who did she have? Lucifer. Of all the people Maze had ever met he knew everything about her - the little things that made her who she was. Her favourite breakfast food, the They had fought countless times, sometimes about pointless things but always forgave each other. Maze had no family - her mother did not count her eyes. She had been close to abandoned as a child. And demons were not there to codal the weak - she had to fend for herself. Lucifer had taught her loyalty, lust… maybe even love.

Maze wanted the feelings to stop or to do something to enact them so she went to the one person she knew understood this kind of stuff. "I need you to fix me." She flung the door open to Linda's office in a routine that had become all too familiar to them both. When Maze had first heard about Lucifer attending therapy she had scoffed at the thought, wondering if he cried about his daddy issues while laying down on an antique sofa. She had been pleased that someone else would have to listen to his stories for a change. It was exhausting pretending to pay attention when you'd heard the same thing on a loop for centuries. To her surprise when she had visited the office there had been some comfort in the idea of someone listening with no bias to her quest to find herself. "Being here in the mortal plane has really messed me up." There was a pause as she sat down opposite the shell shocked blonde half way through a salad. "Before we moved here I had a limited range of emotions and you know what, I really liked it. It was a much better time."

"Do you have some emotions you would like to talk about?" There was no handbook on therapy for celestial beings and as much of a struggle both Maze and Lucifer were Linda found herself quietly thrilled by the challenge. The layers to them were fascinating yet somehow Lucifer's familial issues were all too familiar to the regular crowds of people lining up to see her. Afterall it was LA - land of the rich and emotionally damaged. People were there to escape who they were, to reinvent themselves but would suddenly find that despite the sunshine who they were at the core had not changed. Things they thought about at three am while staring at the ceiling still haunted them despite the change in scenery. Maze was no different though she had never talked about her life in Hell. And also Linda would never be the one to say that to her face; their friendship still scared her from time to time.

"I'm in love with Lucifer." Maze made gagging sounds at the words coming out of her mouth as if physically repulsed by the idea. "It's got to be Stockholm Syndrome right? I watched one of those documentaries on the other night. After millennia of being by his side - I've been brainwashed or something right? Also there really isn't great programming on in the middle of the night someone should do something about that." She took a deep breath and a handful of jelly babies from the jar of sweets on the coffee table realizing and she was rambling in order to avoid hearing the professional's opinion about her announcement. It had not been easy for Maze to verbalizing the thoughts she had been obsessing about over the past few days but it felt like coming back to the surface after being underwater. She could suddenly feel her lungs filling up with air and heaviness dragging her down disappearing.

"You're in love with… Lucifer." Linda repeated the words out loud processing the information. "It makes sense." The words stumped Maze as she leant in to listen closer to what was coming out of her friend's mouth. She had half been hoping that Linda would explain to her how the feelings she was experiencing where not love at all but something different that she could ignore. "After all you have known him for a long time, you came here together, your friend is...unique." She was skirting around the issue worried that Maze would lose her temper a knife hidden somewhere would make its way in her direction. There was no such commotion only silence which seemed scarier in this scenario.

"So what do I do to fix it?" Maze gave a frustrated groan that she wasn't getting the answers that she wanted to hear. There seemed to be a breathing technique or meditation to cure all alignments but from the sounds of it not love. The hope that what she was feeling at the pit of her stomach would go away had not dissipate had not worked. Interacting with Lucifer that day had seemed to make it worse. A part of her brain had been screaming at her to just tell him - what was the point of keeping secrets when they were bound to come out eventually anyway. The other half warned her about all of the pitfalls and the very real possibility of rejection. Maze was not sure how she'd respond to being told it would never happen but had a feeling it would not be healthy.

"Love isn't something you can switch on and off Maze, but you are doing the right thing but confronting the feelings you have so you can start processing them." The words going in one ear and out the other Linda was sure by the distracted look on her friend's face. It had always been unlikely that a demon would listen to sound advice about love and heartbreak. Maze jumped up to her feet a grin tugging at her lips in a way that unsettled Linda even more as she waited for an explanation as to what positive message had been taken from her comment. It was far from the in depth analysis it normally would take a patient to realised many sessions before they would come round to what she had been telling them. There was always resistance first before anything else. "You're right, acknowledging your feelings is the right thing to do. I just need to get Lucifer to _confront_ he loves me too." Linda wanted to stop her but it was too late - Maze had disappeared out of the door leaving nothing but the sultery smell of her perfume lingering in the air.


End file.
